WEST TOAST

After a season for the ages out in the wild, wild Western conference, the seeds have been determined and the matchups are finally set. 6 teams were jockeying for home court advantage until the end, while 3 teams were duking it out for the final 2 slots, and one team went home with the 2nd greatest record to not be rewarded with postseason play.

Several teams retooled by plucking All Stars off struggling squads, including the modern game's most dominant force. The NBA's MVP will probably be between 2 different yet completely viable candidates, along with the probable Coach of the Year and Rookie of the Year. It's been an incredible and historic season, and it's just getting to the good part...

1. Lakers vs. 8. Nuggets – For all the drama Los Lakers endured the last few seasons: the Shaq ousting, Phil Jackson book saga, three consecutive first round exits, and the unanswered trade demands of a diva in peril last summer, 2008 looks to finally be the Kobe Bryant’s best chance to win his first title sans the former Big Aristotle-turned-Cactus. With a new running mate Pau Gasol by his side, the Lakers are peaking at the right time, having won 8 of 9 with Bryant in full-on MVP mode, beating opponents down and taking names in the process. And who knows, Andrew Bynum may even make a cameo during the series and provide the Lakers another inside presence against Marcus Camby and KMart. Denver is just way too undisciplined and have play 0 defense, doubly bad when having to face the most prolific scorer in the world. When all is settled, the Lakers should easily take care of the Nuggets fast enough for Carmelo Anthony to make it back in time for happy hour back in Denver. Lakers in 5.

2. Hornets vs. 7. Mavericks – The NBA saw its future this season, a dominating force standing all of 6 feet tall, and just about ready to launch himself into true NBA super stardom. This has been the year of Chris Paul and his Hornets, who came out of nowhere this year and took the Big Easy, and the Western Conference, by storm, securing the #2 seed after missing the dance a season before. However, the young upstart Hornets face a veteran Mavericks team on a mission to erase the memories of that historic and humiliating first round exit against the Warriors a year ago. Dirk Nowitzki, without the pressure of past years, will emerge from his playoff funk dating back to Game 3 of the Finals 2 years ago, Jason Kidd, still learning to man this team, will have an incredible match up with CP3, while Josh Howard will probably be a tremendous secondary option and should have a breakout series. Mavericks in 6.


3. Spurs vs. 6. Suns – This should be the most entertaining series of the playoffs, the 3rd matchup between the squads in 4 years. Shaq vs. Timmy. Nash vs. Parker. Amare, Manu, Grant Hill, and Big Shot Bob’s bodychecking hips. While all of us around the country questioned Steve Kerr’s sanity when he made the crazy February trade to bring in an old and overweight Shaq in the run-and-gun Suns offense, this is the series he was gearing up for, Well, it’s 2 months later, Shaq is in better shape, Amare is having arguably his best season ever, and Nash can lead this team in both uptempo and halfcourt styles. However, you never, ever underestimate playoff-version Spurs, who have demonstrated that team chemistry often beats out superb individual talent. San Antonio has the bench to counter the Suns’ different styles of attack, the best coach in the league, and the battle experience, along with the matching hardware, and will be moving on. But damn, it should be fun to watch. Spurs in 7.

4. Jazz vs. 5. Rockets – After a historic 22-game run and rolling over opponents for months, the Rockets were rewarded with a rematch against the Utah Jazz, who ousted the Rockets in 7 last year. This should be another fun series to watch, as both teams get set to duke it out once again, though with a 7 foot 6 void in the Rockets’ game. Yes, Houston reeled off 10 straight even without Yao, but the playoffs are a different beast. I don’t see how Scola can contain Carlos Boozer, who should be absolutely dominant this series, nor is Dikembe Mutombo a good answer for perimiter shooting Okur. Plus, there’s nobody on the Rockets that can stop Deron Williams, though while not as flashy, is right up there with Paul as the top rising Western PG’s. Rafer’s probably going to be out at least the first game with an injury, and he’s probably the best option they have of staying on Dwill. TMac’s had an incredible season and has put to rest those who doubted his body, and his heart, but the matchups are just going to be too unfavorable to overcome the Rockets trying to get McGrady out of the first round. Jazz in 6.

Western Conference Champions: LA Lakers

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FINALE NIGHT SHOWCASE

With post-season match-ups set and starters gearing up for "Win or Go Home" time, rim-rocking and sky-flying highlights can be hard to come by on the last night of the association's regular season, as seen by Wednesday's Top 10 on NBA TV. The countdown was salvaged, however, by T-Wolves youngster Corey Brewer, who was an integral piece in Florida's back-to-back National Championships and starred in his own "shining moment" at number six.

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NOT SO RAVEN

Aging quarterback hits the eternal shower


After posting a disappointing 2007 campaign (highlighted by a nine-game skid, last place in the AFC North, and a substandard 5-11 record) following a franchise-best 13-win season in 2006, the Baltimore Ravens have yet another piece of the puzzle to figure out as the starting quarterback position comes into serious question. Former Co-MVP Steve “the Air” McNair announced he would hang up his cleats and retire prior to kicking off the ’08 season, tentatively leaving the full-time reigns of the offense to either Kyle Boller or Troy Smith, resulting in panic attacks all across the Old Line State.

The three-time Pro Bowler cited back and shoulder problems (which kept him out of all but six games last year) as the primary reason for trading-in gridiron glory for driving drunk to the golf course and/or fishing boat this fall. McNair will file his retirement papers after playing in 161 games in which he threw for over 31,000 yards and 174 touchdowns, and will surely be remembered for his Young-like mobility in and out of the pocket, allowing him to gain 3,590 yards on the ground and an impressive 37 trips to paydirt.

Steve’s best year arguably came in an MVP-worthy 2003 season, but his closest chance for football immortality came in 2000, where he, Eddie George, and his Tennessee Titans lost Super Bowl XXXIV by 35 inches to Warner, Faulk, and the Greatest Show on Turf. It’s safe to say Mike Jones will probably not be invited to the retirement pot luck.

Here’s to you, Stevie.

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OUT OF THE WOODS

Tiger weak in the knees, Next four weekends up for grabs

It’s a good thing the seamstress in Augusta didn’t alter the green jacket to 42 long, because it will not be hanging up in Tiger’s 5,000-square-foot walk-in closet. A gimpy Woods finished three shots back of Trevor Immelman last weekend, which was good enough for a second-place finish in his campaign for a fifth Masters Tournament victory.

Why the gimp? It was revealed on Tuesday that Tiger was suffering from wounded cartilage in his left knee that has proven to be an annoying nuisance for several months, and with the quest for Grand Slam over before it really took off, he underwent arthroscopic surgery to repair the damage (his fourth knife session on the same knee since 1994). No one said being a god (not to mention filthy rich) was easy on the knees.

The number-one golfer in the world will stay off the links for at least four weeks after the surgery, giving golfers everywhere a legitimate shot to win a tour event. Tiger will almost surely sit out the Players Championship, but will aim to return to action in time to win the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines, a course he could probably shoot par in a wheelchair.

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MELODRAMA

DUI in Denver for Nuggets star

As if people were wondering why Carmelo Anthony was never considered a true leader and superstar in the ranks of fellow 2004 draft mates Lebron James and Dwayne Wade, there’s no need to look further than his DUI and arrest early this morning. On the heels of the Nuggets’ convincing 111-94 victory over the Rockets Sunday evening, Melo was arrested at approximately 4:00 AM, pulled over for weaving on the Denver roadways after probably kicking back a few too many Coors lights. Though Melo played arguably his worst the game of the season at the absolute worst time for the Nuggets, going 3-14 field for 11 points, Denver pulled their playoff magic number to 1, with the season finale this Wednesday against the Grizzlies while the Warriors play in Phoenix tonight and host Seattle on Wednesday.

No word yet on what type of action the team will take, though bets are Anthony will likely be in the Nuggets starting lineup for the season finale. After having beat the Warriors and taking the tiebreaker in a monumental game last Thursday in Golden State, the Nuggets retook the driver’s seat for the 8^th spot after the Saturday loss in Utah by beating the banged up Rockets in decisive fashion. While the playoff spot looks just about locked up, the question remains whether or not this incident will be a distraction for the Nuggets and their playoff run.

Thankfully for the Nuggets, they have a true leader and former league MVP in Allen Iverson and a strong bench to overcome this incident, and probably could do some damage in the playoffs with some consistent play. But after having his best season yet, being named All Star starter and putting up career rebounding numbers, this lack of judgment during such a vital late-season stretch and potentially devastating decision has got to leave Nuggets fans wondering when fully grown-ass Melo is finally going to show up. Several Nuggets players admitted the team celebrating like they won a championship after the victory over Golden State, maybe George Karl needs to give his team a reality check. With 2 All Star starters and reigning Defensive Player of the Year, the Nuggets are far too talented a team to be duking it out for the last playoff spot.

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CURSE OF ACTION

Yankees exhume shirt to exorcise the demons

The House that a Sox fan helped build.

It used to be that the significance of the Yankee-Red Sox rivalry spread beyond the borders of the American northeast, showcasing the likes of Ruth “cursing” his old employer, DiMaggio edging a .400-hitting Williams in the ’41 MVP race, Thurman Munson clocking Carlton Fisk in the grill in a home plate bru-ha-ha, and Bucky Dent joining the ranks of Yankees with expletive middle names. Now it’s becoming just plain annoying.

Earlier in the week, a Sox fan who happened to be working on the construction of the new Yankee Stadium (you’d think the Steinbrenner’s would inquire about a contractor’s favorite team on an application) buried an Ortiz jersey in the concrete foundation in an effort of bring some voodoo vibes to the Bronx. So far, it’s only brought bad luck to Ortiz himself, who is hitting a paltry 3-for-43 on the young season and can’t seem to hit a beach ball with a tennis racket.

After initially denying that the burial ever occurred, the Yankees had the supposed location of the jersey torn up by jackhammers for five hours until the tattered uniform was unearthed, ironically wrapped around the body of Jimmy Hoffa. The shirt was burned, Hoffa was re-buried.

And of course, future President of the United States Hal Steinbrenner had to chime in his usual classy way, uttering “I hope his co-workers kick the [expletive] out of him” while sipping scotch from his Michael Scott-like “World’s Best Boss” mug.

The two teams square off Sunday night in the rubber-game of their first series of the season, as this rivalry continues to look more and more like two cross-town high school football foes.

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GOOD BYE-BRATIONS

Love to declare for June Draft

Just a month after leading the UCLA Bruins to their 3^rd consecutive Pac-10 title, and a week after being unceremoniously upset, at least in the eyes of bracket-fillers nationwide, by runner-up Memphis, freshman center Kevin Love and junior guard Darren Collison have reportedly decided to leave Westwood and declare themselves for the upcoming NBA draft. Love and Collison, 1^st team and 3^rd team All-American selections respectively, were expected to hire agents in preparation for the June draft, making them ineligible to return to a Bruin team that just participated in their 3^rd straight Final Four.

According to reports, word first broke out of Love’s potential declaration to enter the ‘08 Draft via his Facebook profile, which stated, “Kevin Love is: entering the NBA draft, suckas” which was taken down soon after and replaced with “Kevin Love is: just joshin ya”.

Amidst the confusion Tuesday, Love’s mom announced that no decision had yet been made, and that Kevin would be travelling up to Oregon on Wednesday to discuss the draft with his family because, well, who needs Intro to Biology when the Chicago Bulls beckon. No word yet on whether Uncle Mike Love would be attending the family meetings and trying to persuade his nephew to go for the green.

If Love and Collison do indeed declare for the draft, the 2008 pool would become even more stacked with talent, as it already looks to be one of the deepest drafts in years. Among those already declared or likely to declare for June: damn-near-consensus #1 pick Michael Beasley, Derrick Rose and teammate CDR from Memphis, USC guard OJ Mayo, the Lopez twins from Stanford, Jerryd Bayless from Arizona, 1^st team All American D.J. Augustin, and forward Anthony Randolph from LSU.

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