ROYAL PAIN'D

Kansas City loses itself in the music in sweep


There’s been a buzz coming out of Kansas during the last few days, and it hasn’t been for the Final Four participant Kansas Jayhawks. Well, at least not entirely. The Kansas City Royals, for years the American League’s resident doormat personal piñata, swept the Detroit Tigers, a club that many predicted, including this here blog, to not only win the AL Central, but likely the pennant as well. With arguably one of the best top-to-bottom lineups in the majors, including a very solid rotation, the Tigers came into the season looking as good as any team to beat come October. So imagine the shock when the Royals, who have amassed a paltry one winning season in the last baker’s dozen, pummeled their division rivals in the season-opening series sweep.

The Tigers, for their part, were dealing with the absence of some major pieces to the championship puzzle. Without Curtis Granderson for at least the first 2 weeks, along with Miguel Cabrera and Gary Sheffield sustaining early injuries, thing were already looking bleak for Old Man Leyland’s squad. But with a $138 million dollar roster, depth at nearly every position, and veteran leadership stemming from a World Series appearance just 2 years, one would expect the Tigers to show a little more roar than the opening meow they mustered. After losing the opening day contest 5-4, the Tigers powerful offense scored but a single run during the next 2 days, hitting .206 while collecting 24 K’s during the set. The Royals, meanwhile looked like the offensive juggernaut, as Mark Grudzielanek went 6-12 for the series and third baseman Alex Gordon sent two homeruns over the Comerica Park fences.

While we’re merely 1/54th of the season through, meaning there’s a ton of ball still to come, the Tigers will undoubtedly steer the ship within the next few weeks. However, hese early victories have to be huge for the rebuilding Royals, coming into Detroit and stealing the early sweep. More Smallville than Metropolis, the small market Royals have been written off in their division by nearly every media outlet, as the spotlight has been placed on the Tigers’ winter acquisitions and the Cleveland Indians looking to build on last year’s success. But as the current Central Division leaders, having just blindsided one of baseball’s best teams, and remaining the only unbeaten squad in all of baseball, the young Royals can truly feel like kings, if only for a few days.

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YEAR OF THE MATT

Injured quarterback photographed at "chill" party

No one said being a rehabbing Heisman Trophy winner with everything to prove was an easy gig. But Arizona’s young quarterback Matt Leinart isn’t making being a public figure any easier, whether the court of public opinion is justified or not.

After missing most of promising ’07 campaign, photos emerged of Leinart livin’ la vida loca with several busty beauties, including one where the former USC-star is holding a beer bong that more resembles a gas can and tube he pulled out of an old lifted Ford Ranger.

No one said being a douche-bag was against the law.

While it’s not something that was on the top of the wish list for Cardinals fans (and coach Whisenhunt) --who would rather have had his continued rehab and preparation for the upcoming season be more prominent in the public eye, it’s not like he was caught doing anything illegal or that could realistically be considered “wrong”. He was not beating his wife, playing Wyatt Earp in front of gentlemen’s clubs, or breeding killer canines. There is not an NFC Divisional Playoff game next Sunday against a division rival. The girls were supposedly of age, and how he spends his off-time is obviously his own business.

And give the man a break. He has to cut a $15K child-support check every month so his baby's mama can have a 335i, an iPhone, and an LV handbag.

In 17 games over two seasons living with the cacti, Matty has thrown for 13 touchdowns and a stellar 16 picks, all the while the Cards have amassed a disappointing 13-19 mark in one of the worst divisions in football. In 2007, he played in 5 games before snapping a collarbone and handed the reigns over to ageless Kurt Warner, who lead the team to an even 8-8 record.

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BREAK POINT

Gushin' Russian becomes instant internet celebrity

It looks as if tennis players will do just about anything to make it onto SportsCenter, as Mikhail Youzhny has just become the undisputed face of the sport (albeit bludgeoned), if not for the next few days.

In a third-round match against Nicolas Almagro, Youzhny reacted to his own bone-head play by taking his frustration on his head bone. After sending a backhand into the net, the Russian played Whack-a-Kov with his thousand-dollar racquet and opened up a beautiful head wound, which delayed the match for a few minutes.

But, after forgoing stitches and an ounce of common sense, Youzhny continued and actually won the match in a third-set tiebreaker, proving the old adage “winners never cheat, but hot-headed chumps on a steady diet of nylon and titanium sometimes win” to be true.

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FLIP FLOP, YA DON'T STOP

The seeds, they are a changin'... again

Feeling great in Eight

Another day, another set of games, another change in the Western Conference standings. One night after suffering a monumental and humiliating 22-point collapse in the Valley of the Suns, the Denver Nuggets April fooled the Suns with a 126-120 victory in Denver. After giving up 46 fourth quarter points to the Suns Monday night in a loss that dropped the Nuggets back out of the playoffs for all of one day’s time, the Nuggets reclaimed their winning ways on the home floor with 31 points from Allen Iverson, including 11-11 from the charity stripe. Leandro Barbosa led the Suns with 27, while Steve Nash had 17 points and 18 dimes in the losing effort.

Despite giving up a 14-point lead late in the game, the Nuggets managed to pull out the victory and sealed the win with 37 seconds left on a jumper by Marcus Camby, who apparently does more than just stand and grab loose boards. After cutting the margin and taking a short-lived lead in the 4th, Phoenix failed to convert their baskets at the end, including a missed three by Barbaro with 15 ticks left. Carmelo Anthony sank a free throw to give him 25 on the night, and Nash couldn’t convert a desperation three, before a pair of Shaq missed free throws. The loss moved Phoenix back to a half game behind the idle Lakers in the race for the Pacific Division.

timmay...

The Nuggets jumped back to 8th place in the West race as the Golden State Warriors were completely manhandled by the Spurs at the Alamo, 116-92. The mechanical Spurbots continued to perform in playoff form with their 8th straight victory and 20th straight over the Warriors in San Antonio. The Spurs’ Big Three completely overmatched the Warriors’ Big Three and highest scoring trio in the league. Tony Longoria led the champs with 26 points, while Timmay had 17 and 12 boards, and Manu added 16 off the bench. The Warriors got 19 from Baron Davis and 14 from Monta Ellis, but only got 6 from Stephen Jackson on 2-12 shooting, before Don Nelson emptied the bench with the game out of reach.

The Warriors will look to bounce back as they face Dallas tomorrow night on the national stage, just 3 days after beating the Mavs in Oakland. Dirk Nowitzki , in a surprisingly gutsy move for his standards, was upgraded to day-by-day by the medical staff, and may suit up to in the huge game for the Mavs, who have continued to look mediocre and, surprisingly, slower since the Jason Kidd trade and since Dirk went down just about aweek ago.The Mavs, reeking of desperation, have fallen to 0-10 against winning teams with the loss on Sundayand look to be in danger of hobbling right out of the playoff picture. A Warrior win tomorrow will knot all three teams back up at 46-29, while a Maverick victory will push the Warriors to a full game behind the Nuggets for the 8th spot while holding their spot for 7th.

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GLANCING TO SEPTEMBER

NFL’s Opening Weekend Announced

The NFL revealed the schedule for the highly-anticipated annual “Kickoff Weekend”, set to begin on Thursday night, Sept. 4, when the New York Football Giants officially begin their still-flabbergasting Super Bowl title defense and will look to “stomp out” division foe Redskins at the Meadowlands.

This tradition of launching football’s regular season at the home stadium of the reigning kings of the gridiron seems to be sticking, although the Giants would probably rather start the season on the road, given their almost-miraculous run through the playoffs last year outside of Jersey and their shear mediocrity at Giants Stadium. Plus, the Jets NEVER clean up after themselves and leave the place as an even bigger dump than it already is.

Two teams on opposite ends of the quarterback-stability spectrum will square off on NBC’s first Sunday Night Football telecast of the season, as the Bears will face the Colts in a rematch of the outmatched Super Bowl XLI. The designs and features of the brand-new Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis will surely be showcased, and John Madden will be dumbfounded by all of them.

Lucas Oil Field, the deathbed of
Marvin Harrison's career

Monday Night Football’s opening day double-header will feature half-man/half-unfair Adrian Peterson and the possible division front-running Vikings visiting Rodgers and the Pack in what might already be renamed Favre Field by the time fall rolls around. Green Bay fans will already be hours deep into reminiscing about the “good old days” when the Raiders and Broncos square off in the nightcap; the rest of us will already be asleep.

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BIG WEST CONFERENCE

One monumental (of several) weekend out West

In a playoff race with more jockeying than Churchill Downs and with more developing plot twists and turns than an episode of ‘Lost’, this weekend is shaping up to be monumental for the teams vying for the elite eight out West. Although, really, this is going to be a statement that will ring true pretty much all the way til the mid-April finish line is crossed. In the Southwest, a mere half game separates New Orleans, San Antonio, and Houston in the standings, thanks to the Bees losing to the Celtics and Spurs taking care of Minny last night. Sunday proves to be an important game for shaking out home court advantage, as the Rockets and Spurs throwdown at the Alamo on the national broadcast, as current #5 Houston looks on from the outside for homecourt.

Los Lakers, on a 2-game losing streak after collapsing to Memphis last night and having just lost 3 of 4, are literally a beaten and battered team right now. Without Pau Gasol, still nursing the ankle injury, and evidenced by Derek Fisher’s torn tendon in his foot and Kobe’s million-dollar mug all bandaged up, karma is rearing it ugly head in Hollywood, with Bob Delaney nowhere in sight. And don’t look now but old friend Shaquille O’Neal and the revitalized Suns, just a half game behind the Lakers despite having lost 2 in a row earlier this week, can climb into a tie atop the Pacific with a win tonight in New Jersey. Gasol, however, looks to return Sunday night against the Wizards, just in time to provide more dramatics and take the load off Kobe’s shoulders.

The bottom of the playoff race is just as dicey with 3 teams, yet again, all within half a game of each other, Fight Clubbing for the last 2 spots. Seventh seeded Dallas is one game away from potentially missing out on their annual Playoff meltdown, as they remain winless against winning teams, and without reigning-MVP Dirk Nowitzki for the foreseeable future. As much flak as the Suns received early on for bringing in Shaq to disrupt chemistry, the Jason Kidd deal was not what the Mavericks needed, and team leadership remains nowhere in sight.

With the Golden State Warriors holding steady at #8 and the streaking Denver Nuggets, having won 4 straight, including Thursday’s matchup with the Mavs, right behind them, Mark Cuban has to shaking in his dancing shoes at the thought of his team topping last year’s first round exit and replacing May basketball with ping pong balls instead. The Mavericks could fall to eighth by the end of the weekend, as the Warriors head to Denver to take on the Nuggets tonight in Denver before flying back to the Bay to take on the Mavericks tomorrow.

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA ROLLED

Bobcats reject Lakers and refs eject Kobe

JRich or die flying

After completing 2 grueling and exhausting games in as many nights against the Golden State Warriors, the Lakers returned home seeking to steamroll a less formidable opponent from the JV Eastern Conference by hosting the Charlotte Bobcats Wednesday. Instead, the Lake Show suffered their second straight home defeat 108-95, as the Bobcats cruised to a rather easy-looking victory in Southern California, led by a monster showing from Jason Richardson with 30 points and 10 boards. With the contest decidedly out of reach with 3:40 left, Kobe Bryant decided to take his ball home and check out of the game, hoping to beat the traffic rush out of Staples Center along with the countless fans decked in purple and gold who made their ways to the exits early.

The Bobcats, who lost in Utah last night in the first game of a four game trip out West, jumped out to an early lead and really never looked back. Up 10 in the first quarter before the Lakers cut the lead down, the Bobcats continued to pour on the points and took a 57-44 lead at halftime. Both teams played evenly throughout the third, and Kobe was in typical MVP form, scoring the first 15 points for the Lakers. The Staples crowd went into the final frame expecting a 4th quarter comeback much like the Lakers did, coming back from down 26 points aginst the Warriors before taking a short-lived lead on Sunday.

Sweet Carroll line: 18 pts, 3-4 3's

And, that comeback did happen, as expected. The Lakers jumped out to score the first 10 points and it looked like MJ’s team simply would be no match for the Lakers and Kobe’s will. Slashing the lead down to 3 with a dramatic three by Sasha Vujacic, the Lakers were about to grab a stranglehold on the game. But, a funny thing happened along the way, and the Bobcats played like a veteran team , weathering the Laker storm and closing out the victory. A 16-5 run led by J-Rich and a four-point play by Matt-freaking-Carroll sealed the Lakers’ fate. Bryant, who committed the foul on Carroll, and flustered by the officiating not going his way, asked to be excused early, picking up 2 technicals and the subsequent ejection before the Lakers finally went down for the count.

Kobe the nevernude hit the showers early

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